The Misadventures of Pappu Singham Ep. 5

There was no place to run—she had checked all the exits and escape routes.

There was no place to hide—they had eyes everywhere!

In a last ditch effort, Pappu decided to go to the restroom and lock herself in, but just as she was about to get up and leave, he saw her.

*"Psycho" theme playing in the background*

He approaches her slowly and surely; he knows she is now in his trap.

*The theme gradually increases in pitch*

Pappu starts panicking. Her pupils dilate, sweat beads up on her brow, her heart tries to frantically pump blood into her limbs preparing her for a final frantic escape...

He comes closer...

*The high-pitched theme gains tempo, playing faster and faster...*

He comes even closer... and says...

*Sudden silence, as if the world has gone still...*

"How ya doin'"

*A high-pitched scream of horror*

"Hey, you ok?", he asks with no sign of guilt or even awareness of causing a train wreck.

"Why, what happened?" Pappu replied, looking like the lone survivor of a train wreck.

"You just screamed like a banshee."

"Oh", was all she could say. Resigning herself to her fate, Pappu decided to sit back and suck it all in.

"So... did I tell you I got promoted?"

"Yes. You have. Exactly 53 times this week, 6 times this dreadful Wednesday morning which, by the way, started not so long ago..."

"Did I tell you how I got promoted?, he continued. 

"... and counting!"

"Well, you know this guy from...", he babbled on, blissfully unaware that his audience was weighing her odds with either harakiri or hitogoroshi. Fortunately, for him, she was no samurai. She was just Pappu Singham.

Pappu had a brilliant mind. But sadly, it was attached to a stomach that went hungry occasionally. Which meant she had to feed it. Which was why she was stuck in a dead-end job with a brain-dead manager, who caused a train wreck wherever he went. 

For all practical purposes, let's call him Ass-man, as he was somebody who was on first-name terms with that particular part of the senior management's anatomy. It really helped that he was good-looking and seemingly charming to those with no wits.

Pappu, unfortunately, had lot of wits. But only one job. So, she endured.

"...and then I, of course, had to step in to save the day! You know how it is...", Ass-man looked at Pappu, hoping to get an encouraging nod or smile, telling him 'yes, she knows how it is!'. 

*Blank stare*

"Ahem! As I was saying, you know how it is, right?"

*Still blank stare*

"Haa haa haaaa", Ass-man's attempt at providing punctuation and filling in awkward silences.

*Lingering blank stare*

"Awww... I know you know! So, as I was saying, I saved the day! And then everyone were so happy and relieved, and...", he continued endlessly.

*Meanwhile, inside Pappu's head...*

She is floating endlessly until she finally sees something shining brightly in the distance. She floats towards that light, and as she nears it, she sees it truly for the first time ever... tall, golden gates manned by a single old, bearded man.

"Aren't you past your retirement?"

"He he! You are at the pearly gates but you still haven't left your humor behind!"

"Pearly gates?! Am I dead then?"

"No... not quite. Only brain dead. You will be fine once he leaves."

"He? Who?"

"Ah, the joy of ignorance after death. No wonder you pop here every time he comes along! He he! Come along child, I will tell you your stories while you are here. They are so funny, and I have so little entertainment up here. It is always fun to recount all your misadventures!"

And so Pappu went along happily with the bearded man, as he told her about her and let her forget—even if it was for just a little time—ASS-MAN!