"Hmmm... now what do we do?", Jaggu O'Hara asked, her forehead creased with a bout of concentration which had less to do with her considering the question gravely and more to do with her trying to stand without falling flat on her face.
"I don't know... Ninjeshwari was supposed to tell us," replied Pappu Singham, turning towards Ninjeshwari with a look that could be mistaken as quizzical but was actually just a little cross-eyed.
"Oh! Is that so? Ok! I've got this!" replied Ninjeshwari, who took the responsibility thrust upon her with full gusto, and a little sway. "By the way, can you girls just tell me one thing... what were we supposed to do?"
"I know! I know! I know!" jumped Jaggu, ever the faithful bookkeeper. "We were supposed to have an orgy!"
Some 1 hour ago...
"One, two, three!", the three women said in unison and gulped their sixth tequila shot.
"Whoo! I've never been this drunk, but you know what? I can still walk along a straight line!" Jaggu claimed. When there was no response, she continued, "What? You don't believe me? I can show it to you!" Saying which, she promptly got up from her seat and proceeded to walk along an imaginary tight rope, extending out her hands for balance.
Ninjeshwari, ever the knight in shining armour, came to her rescue, "Jaggu! You'll fall without a stick! Here, take this!" saying which she handed out an umbrella to Jaggu.
Jaggu, grateful for the life-saving umbrella, held it firmly across her hands and continued her walk on the tight-rope.
"I think I'm gonna puke," Pappu said to no one in particular.
"Hey! My tight-rope walk is not that bad!" Jaggu cried out.
"No, I've just had too many drinks tonight, that's all," murmured Pappu.
"Finish that masala papad! You need to eat when you drink, Pappu!" Ninjeshwari to the rescue again.
"Hey! What about that orgy you promised us, Ninju?" Jaggu asked.
"Oh, yeah! That would take Pappu's mind off puking! Perfect! Let's do it!"
"Errr.... what?", Pappu asked no one in particular.
Present time...
"Hmmm... what are we supposed to do in an orgy?" Ninjeshwari asked her two comrades.
"Doesn't it first start with a massage?' Pappu asked hopefully.
"No, don't give her a massage! She will promptly go off to sleep!" Jaggu interjected, sounding a little too emphatic.
"You still haven't gotten over it, have you?" Pappu replied.
Jaggu just turned her back with her nose in the air and her lips turned up petulantly.
"Ok, so massage is off the list... what else?" Ninjeshwari started jotting down a mental list.
"Scented candles!" piped in Jaggu.
"And chocolates!" added Ninjeshwari.
"A book on economics!" was Pappu's contribution.
Ninjeshwari and Jaggu immediately turned toward Pappu. An awkward silence, heavy with the threat of violence (or was it confusion) ensued.
"Ok, maybe not that", conceded Pappu in a very small voice.
"What else?" Ninjeshwari asked again, with a warning glance at Pappu.
"A nice hot bath!" said Jaggu, beginning to suspect that the hot weather might have induced odours detrimental to an orgy.
"Together?" suggested Ninjeshwari, with a suggestively arched eyebrow and crooked smile.
"Whaaaatt? No!!" cried out the prudish Jaggu.
"But why not? We are planning to have an orgy together, aren't we? Logically, you shouldn't then mind taking a bath together?", said Pappu with the air of Amartya Sen giving a lecture.
"I'm just... just not comfortable, ok?!" Jaggu answered back, beginning to think that maybe all of this wasn't such a good idea.
"Ok, as you wish", Ninjeshwari replied.
After all three had a nice shower, they proceeded to the bedroom. They looked at the nice, cosy King-size bed, and then at each other.
"Now what?" Pappu asked with the fervour of a scientist about to explore an organism under the microscope.
They looked at the bed again, each with great feelings in their hearts—Pappu greatly curious, Jaggu greatly nervous, and Ninjeshwari greatly excited.
"Maybe, we should just climb the bed and then figure out what to do?" suggested Ninjeshwari.
Jaggu nodded sheepishly. Pappu nodded fervently. Ninjeshwari just sauntered coolly, as if she had done this a hundred times before. When Pappu and Jaggu looked at her with awe, she broke into nervous giggles. It made the other two women break into giggles as well.
Giggling they climbed onto the bed, got under the coverlet, switched off the lights....
...and stared up at the ceiling...
...and promptly went off to sleep.
*All content moderated in light of the censor board and the innocent minds reading this blog. Any disappointment caused is deeply regretted.
Showing posts with label The Pappu Singham Series. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Pappu Singham Series. Show all posts
Friday, April 14, 2017
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
The Misadventures of Pappu Singham Ep. 5
There was no place to run—she had checked all the exits and escape routes.
There was no place to hide—they had eyes everywhere!
In a last ditch effort, Pappu decided to go to the restroom and lock herself in, but just as she was about to get up and leave, he saw her.
*"Psycho" theme playing in the background*
He approaches her slowly and surely; he knows she is now in his trap.
*The theme gradually increases in pitch*
Pappu starts panicking. Her pupils dilate, sweat beads up on her brow, her heart tries to frantically pump blood into her limbs preparing her for a final frantic escape...
He comes closer...
There was no place to hide—they had eyes everywhere!
In a last ditch effort, Pappu decided to go to the restroom and lock herself in, but just as she was about to get up and leave, he saw her.
*"Psycho" theme playing in the background*
He approaches her slowly and surely; he knows she is now in his trap.
*The theme gradually increases in pitch*
Pappu starts panicking. Her pupils dilate, sweat beads up on her brow, her heart tries to frantically pump blood into her limbs preparing her for a final frantic escape...
He comes closer...
*The high-pitched theme gains tempo, playing faster and faster...*
He comes even closer... and says...
*Sudden silence, as if the world has gone still...*
"How ya doin'"
*A high-pitched scream of horror*
"Hey, you ok?", he asks with no sign of guilt or even awareness of causing a train wreck.
"Why, what happened?" Pappu replied, looking like the lone survivor of a train wreck.
"You just screamed like a banshee."
He comes even closer... and says...
*Sudden silence, as if the world has gone still...*
*A high-pitched scream of horror*
"Hey, you ok?", he asks with no sign of guilt or even awareness of causing a train wreck.
"Why, what happened?" Pappu replied, looking like the lone survivor of a train wreck.
"You just screamed like a banshee."
"Oh", was all she could say. Resigning herself to her fate, Pappu decided to sit back and suck it all in.
"So... did I tell you I got promoted?"
"Yes. You have. Exactly 53 times this week, 6 times this dreadful Wednesday morning which, by the way, started not so long ago..."
"Did I tell you how I got promoted?, he continued.
"... and counting!"
"Well, you know this guy from...", he babbled on, blissfully unaware that his audience was weighing her odds with either harakiri or hitogoroshi. Fortunately, for him, she was no samurai. She was just Pappu Singham.
Pappu had a brilliant mind. But sadly, it was attached to a stomach that went hungry occasionally. Which meant she had to feed it. Which was why she was stuck in a dead-end job with a brain-dead manager, who caused a train wreck wherever he went.
For all practical purposes, let's call him Ass-man, as he was somebody who was on first-name terms with that particular part of the senior management's anatomy. It really helped that he was good-looking and seemingly charming to those with no wits.
Pappu, unfortunately, had lot of wits. But only one job. So, she endured.
"...and then I, of course, had to step in to save the day! You know how it is...", Ass-man looked at Pappu, hoping to get an encouraging nod or smile, telling him 'yes, she knows how it is!'.
*Blank stare*
"Ahem! As I was saying, you know how it is, right?"
*Still blank stare*
"Haa haa haaaa", Ass-man's attempt at providing punctuation and filling in awkward silences.
*Lingering blank stare*
"Awww... I know you know! So, as I was saying, I saved the day! And then everyone were so happy and relieved, and...", he continued endlessly.
*Meanwhile, inside Pappu's head...*
She is floating endlessly until she finally sees something shining brightly in the distance. She floats towards that light, and as she nears it, she sees it truly for the first time ever... tall, golden gates manned by a single old, bearded man.
"Aren't you past your retirement?"
"He he! You are at the pearly gates but you still haven't left your humor behind!"
"Pearly gates?! Am I dead then?"
"No... not quite. Only brain dead. You will be fine once he leaves."
"He? Who?"
"Ah, the joy of ignorance after death. No wonder you pop here every time he comes along! He he! Come along child, I will tell you your stories while you are here. They are so funny, and I have so little entertainment up here. It is always fun to recount all your misadventures!"
And so Pappu went along happily with the bearded man, as he told her about her and let her forget—even if it was for just a little time—ASS-MAN!
Saturday, August 27, 2016
The Misadventures of Pappu Singham Ep. 4
Pappu Singham was stuck in traffic. Again.
“You know what? The amount of time I spend with you, any one would think we are in a relationship.”
“Hrmmphh! You would make a terrible girlfriend! I asked you to change my wipers last week! LAST week!!” grumbled her grumpy old gray car.
Pappu just rolled her eyes. She seemed to be doing that a lot these days.
Right now, more than her car, it was her GPS that that was getting on her nerves.
“After 500 meters, turn right” her GPS said with her virtual nose tipped above the mortals.
“Haven’t we already turned right twice?” Pappu replied, getting slightly irritated.
“Hrmph!” her GPS replied.
“You too??” Pappu rolled her eyes again.
Her thoughts went back to the time she switched on the GPS today.
“Where is Nirvana?” Pappu had asked the all-knowing GPS.
“Doesn’t everybody want to know?!” pat came the reply.
“I didn’t mean THAT Nirvana. Ninjeshwari is supposed to meet me at this place called Nirvana…”
“Oh that one! Her Nirvana is a long time in coming” replied the all-knowing GPS knowingly.
“What?”
“Nothing to bother your mane-y head with! I’ll take you there; just go straight for 700 meters, then take a left.”
“Ok”, and Pappu started driving promptly.
“In 200 meters, take a right.”
“But Ninjeshwari said to keep going straight…” complained Pappu.
“Is she your GPS or am I?!”, she replied snobbishly.
“Yeah, but Ninjeshwari is never wrong!” Pappu insisted. And her faith in that other worldly creature who seemed too fascinated with the word “SEXXXXXX” made her switch off the GPS and go straight.
Straight to a never ending road.
“Now what do I do?”, Pappu worried aloud. Grudgingly, she switched on the GPS back.
“Look who’s here!” remarked the GPS sarcastically.
“Ok, faaiine! You win! Now show me the way.”
“I’ll definitely show you!” she replied angrily.
“What?”
“Nothing!”
That was two “rights” before. Pappu was beginning to realize that maybe she was being taken for a ride… a long one at that.
“Look… I’m sorry ok. I know you know all the ways of the world…”
“In 200 meters, turn right” said the GPS, ignoring the apology.
“It’s just that Ninjeshwari is just so good at directions…”
“IN 100 METERS, TURN RIGHT!”
“But of course, she is not as good as you! I should’ve known that all along!” Pappu piped in, trying to fix the issue.
“…”
Taking her silence for acquiescence, Pappu went on, “…and it’s always you I turn to whenever I drive this old thing.”
“Hrmph!” the gray old car growled and threatened to break down.
“I meant it in a nice affectionate way, you dear old friend!”
“Hmmm”, he calmed down, satisfied for now.
“What I’m trying to say to you is that you are my true friend in need. Please don’t abandon me now.”
“Go on…”
Pappu gritted her teeth, preparing herself for what she knew was coming next.
“You are the…the… best thing that has ever happened to me.” Pappu said through her gritted teeth.
“You don’t sound too convincing…”
“I… rea..lly mean.. it,” she managed to get out.
“Grrr…”, the old gray antiquity was beginning to get jealous.
“Now you don’t start please!” Pappu pleaded. “Please GPS, just show me the way… I beg you!”
“Faine!”, she relented.
“Hey! That’s my line!”
“Turn right now,” the GPS sounded as if she would have shrugged if she had shoulders.
“Ok, as you say”, said Pappu as she drove on.
“Turn right again”.
After driving on, Pappu screamed in shock, “We are back where we started from!”
“Tee hee! Go straight for another 100 meters. Your destination is on the right” said the GPS, sounding happy with herself.
“But this is where Ninjeshwari had directed me to in the first place!” Pappu whispered in disbelief.
“What?”
“Nothing! I said, ‘You are amazing!’”
“Hmmm!”, the GPS replied back proudly.
“You know what? The amount of time I spend with you, any one would think we are in a relationship.”
“Hrmmphh! You would make a terrible girlfriend! I asked you to change my wipers last week! LAST week!!” grumbled her grumpy old gray car.
Pappu just rolled her eyes. She seemed to be doing that a lot these days.
Right now, more than her car, it was her GPS that that was getting on her nerves.
“After 500 meters, turn right” her GPS said with her virtual nose tipped above the mortals.
“Haven’t we already turned right twice?” Pappu replied, getting slightly irritated.
“Hrmph!” her GPS replied.
“You too??” Pappu rolled her eyes again.
Her thoughts went back to the time she switched on the GPS today.
“Where is Nirvana?” Pappu had asked the all-knowing GPS.
“Doesn’t everybody want to know?!” pat came the reply.
“I didn’t mean THAT Nirvana. Ninjeshwari is supposed to meet me at this place called Nirvana…”
“Oh that one! Her Nirvana is a long time in coming” replied the all-knowing GPS knowingly.
“What?”
“Nothing to bother your mane-y head with! I’ll take you there; just go straight for 700 meters, then take a left.”
“Ok”, and Pappu started driving promptly.
“In 200 meters, take a right.”
“But Ninjeshwari said to keep going straight…” complained Pappu.
“Is she your GPS or am I?!”, she replied snobbishly.
“Yeah, but Ninjeshwari is never wrong!” Pappu insisted. And her faith in that other worldly creature who seemed too fascinated with the word “SEXXXXXX” made her switch off the GPS and go straight.
Straight to a never ending road.
“Now what do I do?”, Pappu worried aloud. Grudgingly, she switched on the GPS back.
“Look who’s here!” remarked the GPS sarcastically.
“Ok, faaiine! You win! Now show me the way.”
“I’ll definitely show you!” she replied angrily.
“What?”
“Nothing!”
That was two “rights” before. Pappu was beginning to realize that maybe she was being taken for a ride… a long one at that.
“Look… I’m sorry ok. I know you know all the ways of the world…”
“In 200 meters, turn right” said the GPS, ignoring the apology.
“It’s just that Ninjeshwari is just so good at directions…”
“IN 100 METERS, TURN RIGHT!”
“But of course, she is not as good as you! I should’ve known that all along!” Pappu piped in, trying to fix the issue.
“…”
Taking her silence for acquiescence, Pappu went on, “…and it’s always you I turn to whenever I drive this old thing.”
“Hrmph!” the gray old car growled and threatened to break down.
“I meant it in a nice affectionate way, you dear old friend!”
“Hmmm”, he calmed down, satisfied for now.
“What I’m trying to say to you is that you are my true friend in need. Please don’t abandon me now.”
“Go on…”
Pappu gritted her teeth, preparing herself for what she knew was coming next.
“You are the…the… best thing that has ever happened to me.” Pappu said through her gritted teeth.
“You don’t sound too convincing…”
“I… rea..lly mean.. it,” she managed to get out.
“Grrr…”, the old gray antiquity was beginning to get jealous.
“Now you don’t start please!” Pappu pleaded. “Please GPS, just show me the way… I beg you!”
“Faine!”, she relented.
“Hey! That’s my line!”
“Turn right now,” the GPS sounded as if she would have shrugged if she had shoulders.
“Ok, as you say”, said Pappu as she drove on.
“Turn right again”.
After driving on, Pappu screamed in shock, “We are back where we started from!”
“Tee hee! Go straight for another 100 meters. Your destination is on the right” said the GPS, sounding happy with herself.
“But this is where Ninjeshwari had directed me to in the first place!” Pappu whispered in disbelief.
“What?”
“Nothing! I said, ‘You are amazing!’”
“Hmmm!”, the GPS replied back proudly.
The Misadventures of Pappu Singham Ep. 3 (Ft. Ninjeshwari)
Ninjeshwari and Jesus were having a face-off.
“Just five loaves of bread and two fish?! For all of these people??” she said pointing to the nearly 5000 followers gathered in the hill valley. “I’m an event manager, not a magician!”
“Well, I’m paying you enough to conjure some magic. Don’t tell me you no longer want a place in heaven!” he replied gruffly.
“Hrmph! I’m beginning to wonder if it’s really worth it”, she grumbled.
“What?”
“Nothing!”
And then Ninjeshwari called up her contacts in the area nearby, cashed in her favors, and brought in 5 cart loads of food and fish for all the people.
They ate and were merry.
And so it came to pass, that people in all of Galilee and Jerusalem, spoke in awe of how Jesus fed the people with just five loaves of bread and two fish.
“What the…!” Ninjeshwari started, saw Jesus, and continued, “…heaven is this?!”
“What happened child?”
“I cashed in all my favors in that blas… …ssed area and fed all those people, and you get all the credit?!”
“Child, people only see what they want to see”, replied Jesus profoundly.
Ninjeshwari was silenced with the profoundness… for 5 seconds.
“But the truth?!”
“What is truth, my dear child? The earth feels the sun goes around it, the sun feels the whole galaxy spins around it… who do you think is right? There is only one truth, dear. It is love.”
“Oh! I thought it was sex,” she mumbled.
“What?”
“Nothing!” she replied with a straight face.
“I hear everything, child.” Jesus replied sagely. “I think it’s not yet time for you to enter heaven. You must first know what hell is; only then will your faith grow strong.”
“Hey! Now that’s cheating! You promised!”
“I did, but I never said that you will get heaven after THIS life”, Jesus winked.
“Oh so the Hindus were right after all!, she exclaimed, as if suddenly the mysteries of life were revealed to her.
“Errr… everyone’s got some bits right, some not quite. It wouldn’t be called the mystery of life if I were to just reveal the whole thing to you imbeciles now, would it?”
And just like that he burst her bubble of wisdom.
“But you dear child, I like very much. So it is good if you enter heaven. But before that, you must see hell.”
“What? No wait, please don’t! Nooooooo……”
And so Ninjeshwari died. And was reborn in the present day age. And her education about hell started.
“Ninjeshwari… I have a quotient…”
“Nooooooooooooo….”, her soul screamed in agony.
“Just five loaves of bread and two fish?! For all of these people??” she said pointing to the nearly 5000 followers gathered in the hill valley. “I’m an event manager, not a magician!”
“Well, I’m paying you enough to conjure some magic. Don’t tell me you no longer want a place in heaven!” he replied gruffly.
“Hrmph! I’m beginning to wonder if it’s really worth it”, she grumbled.
“What?”
“Nothing!”
And then Ninjeshwari called up her contacts in the area nearby, cashed in her favors, and brought in 5 cart loads of food and fish for all the people.
They ate and were merry.
And so it came to pass, that people in all of Galilee and Jerusalem, spoke in awe of how Jesus fed the people with just five loaves of bread and two fish.
“What the…!” Ninjeshwari started, saw Jesus, and continued, “…heaven is this?!”
“What happened child?”
“I cashed in all my favors in that blas… …ssed area and fed all those people, and you get all the credit?!”
“Child, people only see what they want to see”, replied Jesus profoundly.
Ninjeshwari was silenced with the profoundness… for 5 seconds.
“But the truth?!”
“What is truth, my dear child? The earth feels the sun goes around it, the sun feels the whole galaxy spins around it… who do you think is right? There is only one truth, dear. It is love.”
“Oh! I thought it was sex,” she mumbled.
“What?”
“Nothing!” she replied with a straight face.
“I hear everything, child.” Jesus replied sagely. “I think it’s not yet time for you to enter heaven. You must first know what hell is; only then will your faith grow strong.”
“Hey! Now that’s cheating! You promised!”
“I did, but I never said that you will get heaven after THIS life”, Jesus winked.
“Oh so the Hindus were right after all!, she exclaimed, as if suddenly the mysteries of life were revealed to her.
“Errr… everyone’s got some bits right, some not quite. It wouldn’t be called the mystery of life if I were to just reveal the whole thing to you imbeciles now, would it?”
And just like that he burst her bubble of wisdom.
“But you dear child, I like very much. So it is good if you enter heaven. But before that, you must see hell.”
“What? No wait, please don’t! Nooooooo……”
And so Ninjeshwari died. And was reborn in the present day age. And her education about hell started.
“Ninjeshwari… I have a quotient…”
“Nooooooooooooo….”, her soul screamed in agony.
Monday, August 8, 2016
The Misadventures of Pappu Singham Ep. 2 (Ft. Jaggu O'Hara)
Jaggu O’Hara, in her own tragic way, sighed and let out. The
last one, she hoped dearly, her Bob had not heard… or smelled.
She was wondering, once again, if Bob really thought it was
a good idea he had thrown in his lot with her. It didn’t matter that his throat
had gone sore telling her so… right before his rock concert.
Poor Bob Hendricks had crooned and crowed from dawn till
dusk, telling his darling how much he loved her. He wasn’t really concerned if
she believed him. He had other more important things to worry about. Jaggu was
wont to cry buckets… literally. If he didn’t shut her up soon, he would have a
flood at his hands. The world depended on Bob Hendricks to save them.
So he crooned and crowed till his throat went sore.
They were next to a paddy field, surrounded by huge trees.
Jaggu, wrapped in his arms, could hear the birds sing, the trees whisper, the
violins strum harmoniously, Lata Mangeshkar croon romantically in her old voice.
“Lata Mangeshkar??!” Alarmed, she looked up. “Phew! It’s
still him.”
Filled with a deep sense of beauty and tragedy all mixed
together, her heart brimmed with tears.
Suddenly, she heard Bob say to her softly, “Why are we like
this?”
“What?”, she asked in disbelief, wondering how he had heard
her tragic thoughts.
He repeated, “Baby, where do I pee?”
“Oh”, she said, stumped. “Anywhere… the fields won’t mind.”
“Hmmm”, he responded and promptly went off to water the
plants.
Bob returned to continue his crowing. Till Jaggu O’Hara
finally went off to sleep.
And then Bob Hendricks ran. He had a concert to go to. That
day, Bob screeched his hard metal songs like never before.
“Hmmm… maybe I should get my throat sore before my concerts”,
wondered Bob. “She is so good for me! But I must not let her know, or I will
never again be able to get my throat sore!”
A bulb lit up somewhere in the air above him.
“THAT would make a good song now, won’t it?!”
And so Bob went off home, screeching happily.
Monday, August 1, 2016
The Misadventures of Pappu Singham Ep. 1
Pappu Singham was impatiently tapping the steering wheel. Suddenly, she heard something that sounded like a nut, fall. She stopped tapping.
But she was still impatient. So, to keep her mind off the blocked road, she looked out of her window. She couldn't see much, of course, because half of it was blocked out by the drain water flowing by, which contained stuff that she wanted to keep her mind off too.
So, she tried to look through the top half of the window. And saw a paper boat. Floating away happily.
'Just keep moving, just keep moving...', she heard the boat sing in the voice of a very familiar fish.
"I must be getting crazy".
"Crazier! You are already crazy!", piped in her crazy mind voice.
"You are the one who is crazy, you crazy old mind voice! I have already wasted one of my lives stuck in this blasted traffic! I don't want to risk losing a few others by having to kill you!"
"She is the one who has redefined the phrase "cat lady" and she calls me crazy. Gah!", muttered the mind voice.
"What?"
"Nothing!"
Suddenly Pappu watches the signal turn green.
"Finally!"
She starts the engine in response but the car sputters like a drowned fish, bellowing a blast of bubbles in the muddy water.
"Don't die on me now, you old museum piece of...!"
The elderly gray car harrumphed harder into the murky water, creating a ripple that sent shivers down the entire..... frame of Pappu.
"...antiquated beauty and engineering marvel. You have been a faithful serv..."
"Hrmpph!"
"... soldier of yore, braving the great traffic for ages, and will do so for ages to come. Please O great master... start of thee own accord so that thy faithful servant could venture a few centimeters ahead."
The sagely car pleased with her entreaty, started with a start.
Relief and joy elated Pappu and she smiled away happily and gushed to push the accelerator, when instead she had to brake.
The lights had turned red again.
Angrily, she hit hard on the steering wheel.
This time, she definitely heard a few parts fall. She cringed in regret.
"Please just somehow float to my house. I promise I will never do this again."
Next morning
"Please just somehow float to my office. I promise I will never do this again."
But she was still impatient. So, to keep her mind off the blocked road, she looked out of her window. She couldn't see much, of course, because half of it was blocked out by the drain water flowing by, which contained stuff that she wanted to keep her mind off too.
So, she tried to look through the top half of the window. And saw a paper boat. Floating away happily.
'Just keep moving, just keep moving...', she heard the boat sing in the voice of a very familiar fish.
"I must be getting crazy".
"Crazier! You are already crazy!", piped in her crazy mind voice.
"You are the one who is crazy, you crazy old mind voice! I have already wasted one of my lives stuck in this blasted traffic! I don't want to risk losing a few others by having to kill you!"
"She is the one who has redefined the phrase "cat lady" and she calls me crazy. Gah!", muttered the mind voice.
"What?"
"Nothing!"
Suddenly Pappu watches the signal turn green.
"Finally!"
She starts the engine in response but the car sputters like a drowned fish, bellowing a blast of bubbles in the muddy water.
"Don't die on me now, you old museum piece of...!"
The elderly gray car harrumphed harder into the murky water, creating a ripple that sent shivers down the entire..... frame of Pappu.
"...antiquated beauty and engineering marvel. You have been a faithful serv..."
"Hrmpph!"
"... soldier of yore, braving the great traffic for ages, and will do so for ages to come. Please O great master... start of thee own accord so that thy faithful servant could venture a few centimeters ahead."
The sagely car pleased with her entreaty, started with a start.
Relief and joy elated Pappu and she smiled away happily and gushed to push the accelerator, when instead she had to brake.
The lights had turned red again.
Angrily, she hit hard on the steering wheel.
This time, she definitely heard a few parts fall. She cringed in regret.
"Please just somehow float to my house. I promise I will never do this again."
Next morning
"Please just somehow float to my office. I promise I will never do this again."
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