Liz and Steve: Chapter 1

Prompt: A White Lie | Genre: Drama/Romance  |  Word count: 2500

Warning: Adult fiction

I’m sure I’ve already wiped my hands on my skirt twice in the last five minutes. I don’t want him to see how nervous I am. Hell, I don’t want him to see my sweaty hands! He has already tried to cancel this dinner. Why did I insist? I shouldn’t have done that. Maybe I can quietly leave before he comes?

No, you can’t do that. He’ll get so mad at you for that. If you didn’t already have a chance, this might blow it totally.

As if I had any real chance! He is just so perfect. I am so not right for him. Maybe that’s the best thing to do; there is no shame in cutting your losses.

Losses?! What losses are you talking about? You haven’t even given it a shot!

I am here, am I not?

And you think that’s enough?

I... but... it’s too stressful!

Coward! That’s what you are!

NO! That’s not true!

“Hey, did I keep you waiting for too long?”

“Huh? Oh, you’re here! I’m sorry I didn’t see you arrive”, Liz answered.

“No, I am sorry. I got caught up in traffic. It’s pouring outside; all the roads are blocked”, Steve apologised.

“That’s ok.”

Look how uncomfortable he looks! He is busy shifting in his seat and avoiding meeting your eye. He really dislikes you, doesn’t he?

“Hey, are you feeling alright?” Steve asked looking concerned.

"Yes, I am fine. Why?” Liz lied.

“Oh nothing... it just that you suddenly looked a little pale.”

He noticed! He noticed!! He really likes me.

Wait till he gets to know you well.

Shut up!

“I’m just a little under weather, nothing serious.” Liz assured him.

“You should have said so; we could’ve planned this some other night.”

He is still trying to back out. Told ya, he is not that into you.

“You didn’t want to come?” Liz asked in a small voice.

Damn! That sounded so pathetic! And needy!

“No no! It’s nothing like that! It’s just that...” Steve suddenly hesitated. “Actually, the thing is...”, he took a deep breath, “ I’m not much of an outdoor person. I would have much preferred a date at home where we could have just ordered food and watched a movie”, he finished in a rush. When he saw her eyes widen, he continued hurriedly, “No I mean, I know it’s too early... I didn’t mean to imply you should come to my house or anything... it’s just... arrgghh!” he looked like he was about to tear his hair out.

Liz burst out laughing. Steve looked all the more embarrassed. But when she kept laughing for a good five minutes, he couldn’t help but join in.

“So now what do we do?”, Liz asked, wiping away her tears.

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve been here for a good 30 minutes but you don’t like eating out... so do we stay or leave?”

“What do you want to do?”

I want to stay. I haven’t dined out in such a long time.

Don’t say that! What would he think?! You want to drive him off too?

“Err... anything is ok with me...” Liz said, her smile not reaching her eyes.

But Steve didn’t notice, “Thanks! Since we’ve been here for so long, we can order a couple of drinks and then we can leave. If you want, we can order our food as well. Ha ha... don’t look at me like that... I’m not taking you to my place. I know this great place, we can just drive there and have our food in the car under the stars... what do you say?”

“Wow! Sounds nice.”

When their food arrived, they picked it up and walked out. Steve led the way to his car. Liz followed, her pulse beating hard in her ears. Her hands were sweating so bad by now, she was afraid she was leaving behind a trail. When they reached his car, he moved to the passenger door and held it open. Liz gave him a shaky smile.

“What happened? Don’t you trust me?”

‘Hey baby, don’t you trust me?’ she could hear Lucas’ voice in her head. She shook her head to get rid of the voice.

“Yeah, I trust you.”

Liz rolled down the window as Steve pulled out of the parking lot. She let the cold breeze hit her face and drown out the ache in her heart. She could still hear Lucas’ voice echoing in her head.

Lucas is gone. He is not part of my life anymore. I am here. This, right now, is all that matters.

She looked to her side and saw Steve’s profile. He had a strong, sharp nose and full lips. Just like that, her cold ache flared into heat and instinctively, she clenched her thighs a little. Steve caught the movement and glanced at her but for a moment. Liz blushed and turned back to the window.

The highway got quieter the further he drove away from the city. He finally turned left into a dirt road and kept driving for another half hour before finally ascending a hill. At the summit, he pulled up at a spot with a nice view. He got out of the car and climbed the bonnet. Liz got out as well and leaned against her side of the car. For a while, they just looked down at the valley, at the thousands of city lights in the distance, blinking like the stars above.

Breaking into the comfortable silence, he said, “This is my “me” spot. I come here whenever I feel low or need some inspiration.” He then looked at Liz, his expression guarded, “I’ve never brought anyone else here before.”

“Oh” was all Liz could reply. She felt a lump in her throat, the burden of carrying a tender gift he had just shared.

He smiled and extended his hand to her. She took it and climbed the bonnet next to him.

Liz looked away, afraid he’d hear her heart roaring in the silence that enveloped them. But if he did, he didn’t appear to show it. He just laid back and looked up at the sky.

Liz could feel the pull of expectation, demanding she lie down as well. She tried to fight it but her half-hearted efforts were futile. After a while, she gave in. Her hands were turning sweaty again.

If I just lay still... don’t give him any indication... maybe he won’t approach.

She waited. Nothing happened.

He doesn’t want to make a move?

The lump in her throat plunged deep in her chest; in a place she had saved to bury tender gifts.

To clear her head, she turned to look at him. He was gazing up at the sky, lost in the stars that he had come so far to see. Liz wanted to kick herself for judging so fast. Reassured that her gift was safe, she followed his gaze.

The brilliant pinpricks of light sparkling on that inky expanse pierced Liz’s heart. Liz could just lie here and watch the stars forever.

She turned to see Steve looking at her, “What?”

“What?”

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Why can’t I look at you like that?” he said, leaning a little closer, a smile playing on his lips.

Liz moved back instinctively, but she didn’t move away. She furrowed her brows, smiling at the same time, searching his face for a clue. But Steve didn’t back down. Under his smouldering gaze, Liz looked away coyly and sat up.

She could feel his gaze at her back, and it made her blush deeper.

Please get up and kiss me.

Oh, aren’t you forward!

But I’m not making the move.

Hmmm... that’s true.

But why is he taking so long? Maybe if I just look...

No! Don’t you dare!

But I do wa...

Steve got up and jumped off, “We better start eating or that food will get cold soon.”

Her blush turned to a burning that spread from her cheeks to her ears. She felt a tear rise up from the heat but she pushed it back down.

“You need help getting down?”

“No, I’m fine”, Liz lied the second time this evening. “I just wanted to watch the stars a little longer. I’ll be there in a minute.”

“You’ve suddenly become quiet. Everything ok?” Steve asked, while they dined in the car.

“Hmmm... yeah... the food is just so yummy... I can’t...” Liz looked down at the food in an effort to avert her eyes. But things pushed down don’t easily stay down. So Liz dug into her food and stuffed in a mouthful of food. “I .... mmmmm.....” she closed her eyes to indicate how much she was enjoying it.

Steve laughed, “God! You are so funny!”

She nodded her head and tried to smile.

What’s wrong with me? I can’t keep it in!

Just don’t think about it. You’ll be fine.

I...

Don’t. Think.

“You need water?” Steve offered a glass, after she had managed to gulp down her food.

“Thanks”, Liz drank the whole glass.

“Do you always eat like this?” Steve asked, his lips tugging at the ends.

“No... I...” Liz looked flustered, her body burning up all over again.

Without warning, Steve leaned in and kissed her. Liz’s eyes grew wide. She felt as if her fevered body was doused in cold water, and then put on an even bigger fire. Just when she thought she was getting her nerves under control, she felt Steve’s lips lick the edge of her lips, and it sent a shockwave up her spine. Her eyes began to droop and her lips slowly puckered, when she felt Steve draw back. She moaned in protest.

Steve held her face gently, “You had gravy on your lips... I was just licking it clean.”

Liz slowly opened her eyes, her brows furrowed, trying to follow Steve’s words but failing miserably, “Whaaa...?”

Steve laughed and pulled her close for another kiss. She moaned louder as her eyes half closed and her lips opened up ever so slightly in response. His hand shifted from her face to the back of her neck while his other hand drifted oh so slowly to cup her breast.

“Oh!”, Liz jerked away as her eyes opened wide.

“What happened?”

“I... I’m not... comfortable” she managed to reply in a small voice.

“Oh”, Steve backed out.

Liz could see he was no longer smiling... or looking at her. “Please don’t feel bad! It’s not that...”

“Hey... it’s fine”, Steve gently held her shoulders, a kind look in his eyes, “I respect your space. We won’t do it unless you are ready. Ok?”

“Ok”, she nodded.

“Come on, I’ll drop you home.”

Steve began to drive them back to the city.

He wasn’t this quiet on our drive to his spot. Why is he so quiet now? He said it’s ok, but I don’t think he meant it.

Congrats Sherlock! You finally figured what all men want.

I... I thought he was different.

Liz felt like her heart suddenly clenched tight into a fist. She couldn’t breathe, her chest growing heavy. And there it was, back again, that annoying little tear. She looked away and tried to wipe it off while pretending to push her hair back behind her ear.

As he turned at the intersection leading to her neighbourhood, Liz looked down at her hands. They had turned sweaty again. She began to wipe them on her skirt, playing out the conversation that would inevitably follow.

He’d drop her outside her apartment and they’d stand there on the pavement, avoiding each other’s eyes.

“So, this is it”, he’d say.

“Yeah... this is it.”

They would search for words but never quite catch them.

“I’ll call you”, he’d say.

“Ok”, she’d say, pretty sure he’d never call.

And then she’d go home to her apartment, hugging her cat and crying herself to a fitful sleep.

“You do that quite often, don’t you?” he asked, breaking into her thoughts.

“Do what?”

“Disappear in your head, somewhere.”

“Oh. I didn’t realise you’d notice.”

“How can I not? It’s so obvious.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t...”

“Why are you sorry? There’s nothing to be sorry about. That’s just who you are. That’s all.”

Liz looked up in surprise. This was the first time someone had noticed and didn’t mind. Usually, they’d call her “boring” or “depressed”... or “cold-hearted”. That last one hurt the most. It’s what Lucas had flung at her when... no, she didn’t want to think about it. He was wrong. They were all wrong. She was surprised how Steve had got it right.

“This is the first time someone said it’s ok. Usually, it either makes them uncomfortable or bored”, Liz said, looking down at her sweaty hands. Something else which had been buried tried to come up. Liz tried to squelch it but it just made the pressure within her chest grow tighter. She turned away to look outside the passenger window. It helped, a little. But she wasn’t sure she’d be able to hold it in any longer.

So when he parked outside her apartment, she did what she did best. Distract. “I think I should go. It’s quite late already.”

“Ok”.

Somehow his “ok” made the knot in her ache. Still keeping her face away, she opened the door and got out.

“Goodnight, then”, she said, giving him a weak smile.

“Goodnight”, he replied, leaning towards the passenger side.

Liz turned back to go up to her apartment, when Steve called out, “Wait!” Startled, she turned around to see him getting out of the car and running to her. Coming close, he held her hands in his and said, “Thank you for today. I had a really good time. I’m glad you came with me... to my spot. I have never shared it with anyone.” Drawing her closer, he whispered, “But I wanted to share it with you”.

Liz felt her eyes fill with tears.

He bent down to kiss her hands again. When he straightened, he looked in her eyes and said, “Liz... I love you.”

She gasped.

But Steve never saw that. Because at the same time, he pulled her closer and brought her hands behind his back, as he bent down to kiss her open mouth. He flicked his tongue over her parted lips. She shuddered. He smiled and ventured deeper.

He left her hands and moved them behind her back. He pulled her closer.  

Liz felt her breasts pressed against his chest. But it wasn’t enough. She wanted more.

Don't do it!

Why not?

He could just walk out once he’s done.

...  

Now’s your chance. Leave him before he leaves you.

You know what? If he wants to leave, let him. At least I’ll know sooner.

Suit yourself!

She broke the kiss and gasping for breath, she asked, “You wanna come upstairs?”

“You sure?”

“Uh-huh”, she nodded, her fingers crossed.